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The spring 2006 outing for the Jagermeister music tour was headlined by Staind with Three Days Grace and Hurt providing support. Additionally a band from the jager music program was given an opening slot each night. I returned for my sixth installment as host. As is my usual custom I have re-printed here my blog entries during the course of the tour along with a number of my personal photos (previously unpublished). This time I have also added some additional text (in italics) as a sort of 'directors commentary'. |
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2006/04/20 16:27 Today - woke up feeling the effects of drinking again after being on the wagon, hit walmart to stock the bus, subway for lunch, hit the venue around 1pm and start working. The routine has returned, its almost like we never stopped. Tonight - first show of the tour. We already know a few people on the band's crews and everyone seems pretty cool. We'll work out the inevitable kinks and have another great tour. As a result of the post dinner party Scott (Dr Grift) 'took a nap' in the front lounge or he passed out...you be the judge. |
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2006/04/21 12:05 I am actually at home right now (waiting on an AC technician)
because we have the day off and our bus is here in Austin as
the mid-point between Mcallen and Lubbock. We had a lot of fun with the cart but they did eventually reclaim it from us (probably a good idea) as we started taking to buzzing the line in it. The fact that there were no crashes or roll-overs is astounding as is the fact that we were all sober when driving it. |
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2006/04/24 16:45 During the song Bodies, Drowning Pools new frontman actually fell between the stage and the speakers and busted his leg but continued on without missing a beat. |
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2006/04/25 15:29 Efficiency can be an odd thing sometimes, especially when
viewed appropriately in context. Getting online every day often
brings it into focus for me, having to use a relatively slow
connection most days (pdanet via my treo) and doing so during
the day before the show when setup is the priority and can necessitate
stoppage at any time. I have to be efficient about my own goals
with my online time and I need to deal with other people's (often
lack thereof) in terms of site designs and load times. Working
in this way makes me really appreciative of how IAM and GMAIL
work, not to mention increasingly viewing myspace as a soul sucking
chore. Good show last night, no technical issues really - hoping
we are over that hump now. Had something weird happen during
Staind's set when I was watching from side stage. A guy motioned
me over and when I got to him he requested a song. I'm not sure
if this routine in Tulsa but I found it pretty odd. He seemed
a little put off when I told him I didn't think they were taking
requests. What did he think I was gonna do, scream at Aaron from
side stage, "Hey this guy wants to hear a song". Your
local bands may take requests but it pretty damn unusual for
an international headliner to be leaving space in their set in
case someone has a request. Witchita Falls and Pensacola were both fun shows that went well. At the Pensacola show someone in the crowd had small sterling silver compact like case passed to me as a gift - thank you. After Pensacola we headed to Livestock, a festival show where Jager jumped on as a sponsor. I joined the radio hosts onstage for a few of the bands intros and we had a signing tent setup for people to meet the jager bands on the bill. I am in Atlanta currently, yesterday we had a feast at Jimi's mom's house. I have been fighting off some bug for the last few days. Mainly it is just some congestion which I mainly notice while trying to sleep and in the mornings. I broke down and took a decongestant last night which helped, I'll probably do it again tonight and see if I can't sweat it out. Livestock was listed in our tour books as Florida's finest white trash gathering and that proved to be an understatement. Among other amusing events Mossy happened upon a girl using our tour bus for support while she peeing - she probably shouldn't have chosen the side with the door. The feast with Jimi's mom was in celebration of his birthday and she provided us with lots of old photos - one of which became a new unofficial laminate on the tour. I know believe the congestion was the result of mild allergies something I have never had before. |
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2006/05/02 13:49 Tonight - Knoxville. We are in Little Rock currently looking at two days off at
a riverboat casino after the show here tonight. Last night we played the Clear Channel Metroplex in Little Rock, Arkansas. The metroplex is not so much a venue as it is the remaining space in a building of radio and tv offices & studios. Not being a musically based performer, acoustics don't count for a lot with me (not that they are a particularly redeeming feature for the metroplex regardless). I look at layout and amenities, the metroplex is lacking in both. To wit, the catering was such that subpar would be a compliment. Jimi and I sought out the nearby Subway rather than roll the dice on dinner. Despite this and other issues, the crowd was great. Not only did they come with energy and appreciation for the show but they also dealt well with being crammed into a visibly oversold room. That said, the parking lot after the show looked like a cross between an episode of cops and girls gone wild. Shirtless drunks staggering about hollering wildly and girls raising their shirts with little or no encouragement at all. Thanks for a fun night Little Rock. And now some thoughts on breasts: Being the host of a rock tour means I see a lot of tits. I have seen girls flash their breasts before the first band even hits the stage. There is a fair chance on any given show night that I will see more nipples than if I went out to a titty bar. Now, as a person with a green face and horned forehead ridges I fully endorse and recognize the concept of beauty in the eye of the beholder. And I certainly don't want to do or say anything that might cause woman to stop showing their tits. However, I still feel fairly confident from experience in saying that there are some women out there taking far too much pride in their breasts. In short, not all tits are made for flashing. In last couple weeks I have seen boobs that looked deflated, gnawed on, and run over. Sets so lopsided that if shown a picture you would think it needed to be rotated. At livestock last week I saw a tit that appeared to have recently lost a knife fight. We now return to the entry already in progress. The new corkscrew act has been getting a really good response, I am very pleased with it. It doesn't need much in terms of pitch to go over but I am still working on varying presentations for it. It works perfectly for this type of rock show environment but I'm not sure how it will fit in with my solo show right now. 2006/05/05 14:02 Yesterday we were at the Jackson Crawfish Festival in (surprise, surprise) Jackson, MS. Most of the day was plagued by a horrendous downpour but the rain broke before Staind played. I gave them a quick intro and that was pretty much my contribution for the day. Corey (formerly of stereomud, now with Dark New Day) was there and I got to catch up with him a little. The real adventure came after the show when everyone got very drunk - well, everyone besides myself, Jimi, and Weaver. The intoxication was facilitated in part by Scott and Mossy running about with multiple bottles of jagermeister dishing out shots. By the end of the night there had a been some tackling, wrestling, scuffles, thrown bottles, thrown chairs, some bus damage (outside panels), and a broken foot. I came away unscathed and well rested having decided to watch Crash in my bunk - not a bad film, I enjoyed it but the hype people had built up for it was a little much. Something I forgot to mention before as a post-script to the show in Little Rock. Richie (staind security) had his shoulder injured and sadly looks to be going home. I don't have the exact details but it seems he got nailed while working the barricade by a flying body. We have today off, somewhere around Ft Worth - we're making day stops so Thomas (bus driver) can rest on the way to Phoenix. I considered getting a hold of friends in Dallas but its short notice and its not a lot of time to do much of anything. Instead I am going to try and get some work done on some small projects. I might also do some sketching, I have fallen out of it as a daily routine. There are some pet stores nearby that I might visit as well so I can see some ferrets. I miss our horde at home. The crawfish festival was where we first met Katie who would end up becoming the new PA for the tour mid-way through. I never did manage to get over to the pet store but I ran other errands. I also missed a chance to go see Ministry who were playing in town. Pete the tech who threw the chair at the bus and broke his foot obviously had to go home but would return at the tail end for a lot of good natured ribbing about his escapades. |
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2006/05/08 16:37 The bus stopped this morning at a hotel in El Paso across the street from some big box stores and a mall. I walked over to the mall, picked up a game for the xbox, and was headed over to the Barnes & Noble when the rest of the crew showed up. We went back into the mall for awhile where I ended up getting a gift for Meghan. Weaver and I then decided to head over to B&N. After some browsing, we left the bookstore and started walking across the parking lot to a sports store. Suddenly, a police patrol car turned into the lane and stopped in front of us. Having already been stopped several times and asked for photos I figured the officer simply wanted to say hi and maybe get a photo for herself - happens all the time. Nope. She exited her vehicle and asked for our ID. I asked why she wanted to see ID, and specifically what cause she had for detaining us. She replied that "another agency" had reported two men matching our description. Being that I am green, thats a pretty specific description and I commented on how it had to be me, so what was the problem. We asked what the complaint or suspicion was and she said she didn't have that information. I told her that I would show her my ID but did not feel she had legal grounds to demand it at this point. Weaver began taking down her name, unit & badge numbers. We continued to ask about why she was detaining us and she continued to plead ignorance while taking down our info and calling in a background check. During this time she changed her story repeatedly from another agency calling in a report, to a call to her dispatcher, to other officers having been following us but lost us and looking for us, and other permutations. If a suspect being interrogated was so unsure and inconsistent with their responses as she was, you would suspect something was wrong. While waiting on the background call another unit pulled up. This officer made a point of trying to look stone-faced while repeatedly resting his hand on his gun and taser. He would not respond to any questions and only spoke to ask us what we did and why we were there without actually acknowledging our responses. After repeatedly asking for our ID's, they were returned. We were let go without even an apology after the check came back clean and I less than casually mentioned calling the ACLU about harassment. Something tells me that if either of us were black, Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton would be ready to march. At this point we are still considering calling it in to the department. On a more positive note, the non-uniformed residents of the city have been more than welcoming. The manager of a nearby Double Daves hooked us up with lunch. This incident still bothers me when I think about it. As
someone with a lot respect for law enformement officers who do
their job responsibly and having a number of friends who work
as police officers I found their conduct towards us completely
disrepectful and borderline illegal at points. I'm enjoying the amenities of a very nice Marriot right next to the Mesa Amphitheatre (tommorow night's venue). I see some hot tub time in my future. Last night I got in a very good hour or so of yoga followed by a nice soak in the hot tub at our hotel in El Paso. I went to bed feeling great. This morning I cleared a substantial blood clot from left sinus and I feel completely open again. Once again, I will hope this is the end of my nasal issues. Oh yes, and David Blaine failed. Its hard not to smile a little. I do respect him on some levels but on many important issues I think he is a fool, a charlatan, and detrimental to the industry. The tour took roughly 60 days for 30 show dates - most of us would have preferred something like 42 days for 30 show dates. I still am not impressed with Blaine for anything other than his ability to garner big money sponsors for his stunts while I take more risks (and actually succeed) for far less. 2006/05/10 17:42 For now, I am going to try and play nice and be incidental at the most but they have already followed me once today. I'm not looking forward to them coming and asking for paperwork (release) because they aren't going to get it. I don't want to be a prick and mess this up for the crew but I'm not gonna bend over for them either. We have a show tonight - hope I remember my routines. Everything with the crew actually worked out pretty smoothly. They understood perfectly when I explained my concerns about signing a release. We agreed they could do their pilot presentation without any need of me signing off on it and that any footage of me would simply never see broadcast unless a dela was struck later on. I really do hope the crew gets their show since they seem to be into doing it. |
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2006/05/11 16:53 I am not, however, on the bus. The bus needed repairs and maintenance so we we all de-bussed at the awful hour of 7am. The trade off being that we got rooms rather than staying on the bus today & tonight. The show last night went well. I did remember my routines. The crowd was a little tough to get going but it was an early show and still very bright out for the first couple bands and that was probably part of it. Still I got a strong response and had fun. There's nothing like making a few thousand people laugh and cheer. A little update on the reality tv crew: I found out last night that they are shooting only to put together a 7 minute pitch tape. Thus they will likely not even be seeking releases since it will never be shown anywhere other than a boardroom / office or two. Some have wondered though how the fact that they are shooting a lot of people who are not part of the regular crew may affect the hopes of the project. Obviously the antics of our group (including my green ass) tend to be a bit more over the top and eye catching, but we will not be around when / if this goes through. Said antics may help get the show made though. On that note, nothing even remotely interesting happened last night after the show and any video shown to the contrary will result in legal action. That is all. I still have no comment on the events of that night and
I will neither confirm nor deny that any wrestling took place
or any bones were broken. Flying in the face of math, I continued to make money on slots - though only about $5 a run - throughout the rest of the tour. 2006/05/14 02:53 The first night was interesting as we adjusted to the venue. It is all seated and the layout requires the audience to leave the show to go to a lobby area to buy drinks. It is also the smallest room on the schedule. Still, it is a nice room just not optimal for a rock show. The VIP area was actually in another part of the casino with a live video feed of the show. The response was strong but it did take some work to coax people up out of their seats and get their energy going. Kerry and Ayesha came out to the show for a visit, I'm looking forward seeing them again in July when Slayer hits Texas on their upcoming tour. After the show I intended to simply take it easy but somehow ended up drinking and hanging out with Andrew (Staind tour manager) till 5am. I wouldn't say I fell off the wagon, since I never got on it in the first place but it was the first time I had anything to drink offstage since the opening night party. I didn't get hammered but I had a few beers and a good time in general. It was more the social ritual than anything else and I don't expect to resume "real" drinking again. After about four hours of sleep I was woken up by the bus starting up. It had to leave for more maintenance work and so we all moved up to one of the hotel rooms and I passed out again till the afternoon. The second show was much like the firts but the crowd seemed a bit more energized. I switched up my rotation of stunts a little just for the heck of it. Hurt didn't play due to a schedule conflict but still got thanked by Aaron at the end of the night - he made a few jokes about napping and missing out on them not being here tonight once the crowd let him know. He had a very good sense of humor about it. Tommorow morning it is off to Vegas and a show at the Palms. I am exhausted. I am still amused thinking about Aaron's references to
Hurt but his recovery was very impressive. Spending today in Grand Junction which is not particularly grand (not bad, but grand is a bit of an overstatement) but does appear to be a junction of sorts. Rain is not only not equipped for a tour of this sort but also has some odd signs (see below - how do you use the bathroom without exposing yourself?). The party was a good time - especially it would seem for Aaron who the next day asked why I didn't make it there after having spent a good chunk of time standing beside and talking to me. This is your brain, this is your brain on weed... |
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2006/05/18 14:52 A quick note on the recent alligator attacks in Florida: My people are pissed and can only be pushed so far. Heh. Taking a day off in Sioux Falls. Repairs were made but we never ended up switching buses. The picture below is vastly nicer than how it looked before it was cleaned. |
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2006/05/20 15:29 Still no word on if we will be switching buses or what will be done about the deer inflicted damage. Thomas (our driver) replaced the headlight yesterday to make us legal again, so I suppose we could just go on with it from here. 2006/05/21 15:30 We're in Milwaukee at the Eagles Ballroom. I have played here a few times before over the years. Its an interesting venue that is supposedly haunted. I don't believe in ghosts but I am happy to see that it is still the repository of one of my art projects. Back in 2004 I created a non sequitur generator program for palm which I run on my treo. During the fall tour I would run the program and write the generated sentence on a sticker, date it, and then post it in an obscure location. The one I placed here is still intact. Last night's show went well but it did feature the first ice/coin throwing asshole. In an interesting juxtaposition there were also two proms going on in the building besides our concert. Despite a number of predictions and ill advised (probably illegal) schemes being concocted nothing happened with any of the proms. |
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2006/05/22 14:28 Currently sitting in Elgin due to Chicago hotels being overwhelmed by some gathering or convention. Not much going on in whatever part of town we are in but its a nice day. Three weeks till my birthday and I have a plan brewing which will be posted here later. Stay tuned. The plan was Lizardman Day. 2006/05/23 15:36 This morning on the way to the venue we were the victim of a hit & run. The damage is minor and cosmetic but on a tour bus that still means hundreds to thousands of dollars. The real kicker is that the deductible on these things is $25,000. Not like I have to pay for it, but I still feel a little sympathy for the bus. |
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2006/05/24 16:32 After being on the bus since 1 am last night, we are now in Secaucus, NJ with six days off till the show in NYC on the 31st. I desperately need to clean myself. And now a message for people who come to the shows. I try
to be accessible and I do like to meet you. However, if you try
to wave me over from the crowd while I am waiting to get my cue
to go onstage I am NOT going to come over. This seems to happen
every time the stage is set so that people can see me waiting
to go from the crowd. Understand that I am working and I am not
going to step out for a picture or to say hi while the show is
going on. Please wait till after the show when I do come out
for just this purpose. 2006/05/26 16:37 A little forewarning for the O&A fans out there, I will
be on air with them Wednesday morning. The plan is for me to
come in during the last hour of their CBS time and then to do
the walk over to the satellite studio and hang for the rest of
their show there as well. I really dislike extended breaks on tour. One or two days off at a time is more than enough. Sitting here for six days is more a useless psychological experiment than anything else - and my mind is turning dark. On Monday I'll post some new stuff for Lizardman Day. I never did find a place to watch UFC 60 - damn it. 2006/05/29 15:25 I managed to pull myself out of the bunk yesterday with just enough time for a shower and a quick snack before it was time for Weaver and I to catch a bus into Port Authority. Once there, we took a few minutes to decipher the subway map and find our way out to the party in Brooklyn. Fine cheeses, delicious cookies, good wine, and great company were all on hand. If I tried to list everyone I would almost certainly miss at least a few as IAM was well represented. It took more than a little effort for us to resist the wine induced idea of spending the night in NYC till the morning buses resumed but we dragged ourselves away a little after 11pm to catch trains back to Port Authority. Despite signs in the station to the contrary we did get to desired destinations and even got to the bus gate with 15 minutes to spare before the last run back to NJ at 12:35. I had hoped to get a good slice or two while in NYC but in the end I settled for a Domino's back at the hotel. I'll get my slices sometime in the next couple days. It looks like tomorrow I'll be relocating to a hotel nearby the Nokia so as to be centralized for the show wednesday night and all the radio I'll be doing during the day. The current list includes Opie & Anthony and Maxim radio with others being confirmed / worked on today and tomorrow. I'll be adding another traditional activity for the celebration of Lizardman Day to the entry above later today. Only two more weeks!!! |
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2006/05/29 17:46 And check for your local tour dates, the show is going to be incredible. I'll be hitting the San Antonio date after I get home from this Jager run. Normally, I would have edited out an entry like this from the tour report but narcissism prevented that. 2006/06/01 12:59 Yestarday started aorund 6:30am when I had to get up and prepare to for the Opie & Anthony show. Traci (jager rv crew), Scott (aka Dr Grift), and I walked over from the Edison hotel a little after 7am. Also appearing onthe show were Otto & George (comedian/ventriloquist - great in the Aristocrats). At the very end of their CBS broadcast portion of the show I tried to do a stomach siphon (variation on gavage) which only partly worked as I had hoped but still managed to deeply affect most everyone in the studio. Then we did the walk back to the XM studio. I wore the straighjacket and did an escape on the street but it wasn't really that impactful. I was tired and my energy was a little low. I simply wasn't at the top of my game for the whole show but everyone seemed a little less than their best for that matter. Still, I think it worked out well and was a good appearance. Back in the satellite studios we did more stunts including the corkscrew, the doctor's eye lift, and the darts which were all big hits. After O&A we walked over to the venue (Nokia) and waited for the bus to arrive with the rest of the crew and gear. After setting up in the venue it was over to the Sirius studios to do Maxim radio. This show was a lot more like a lot of regualr radio I have done but without the FCC rules against profanity. I took full advantage of the opportunity to cuss. I had gotten a little second wind and I think my energy was better. After just under an hour with Bower and Scooter on Maxim I headed back to the venue. Along the way I passed by the Virgin store and heard a familar voice. Todd Robbins and the Coney Island cast were inside promoting Sideshows by the Seashore and the sideshow clothing line now available. I stepped in to catch their show and ended up getting pulled up onstage for a quick cameo by Todd. It was a wonderful surprise to get to see everyone, including lots of new faces. Then, back to Nokia to do the show. There was a little bit of rust from the extended time off but the show was smooth and well received. I think I might have strained my voice a little though. I have a small tickle in my throat today. After the show our departure was a a little delayed when a small scuffle in the street by two men resulted in a police presence that I have only previously seen equaled in riot footage. In moments the street was swarmed by officers and cruisers which took far longer to dissipate than they did to assemble. All for a one punch incident that barely qualifies being described as fight and had been successfully handled in moment by the officers already on scene for the show. Now I am outside the venue in Hampton Beach, NH. I just saw the entry on Modblog with my photo - see my comment there. If anyone could get me a copy of the magazine that would be great. I'm not real concerned about the use (being on a red carpet basically means giving people free reign to take and use your photo) but a credit would have been nice. |
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2006/06/01 21:42 Puritanical liquor laws suck. It's raining in Boston, the bus is parked a mile away from
the hotel. I have little motivation and no use for anything right.
Yep, I'm a perfect ray of sunshine today. We're going out to
dinner tonight, maybe that will help. Watched Waiting yesterday, funnier than I expected and our crew has taken up the game from the film. I awoke this morning to screams of 'Brain!" in the back lounge. If you haven't seen Waiting, go see it and picture this
spectacle lasting the rest of the tour! Last night in Providence was an example of some sort of natural balance - not that I really believe in such. The venue (Lupos) is not conducive to a tour of this size in layout or parking. To wit, our bus was five blocks away. Whatever shortcomings the building presented, the crowd made up for it. It was a great show and short of lacking the time to do all I would have liked went perfectly. Currently we are in Atlantic City for our day off. Look for
a Lizardman Day update later today. Ahhh, the sights and sounds of Atlantic City. Hookers (I'm fairly sure) passing by through the parking lot and a crackhead (I'm really sure) selling socks on the sidewalk. See for yourself. |
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2006/06/06 14:47 Its finally warm again too. I was too slow to get a shot of the DC sock man. http://modified-news.com/?p=380 Last night's show in Cleveland was fun, got to see Shana (
IAM: pureevil668 ) and Fat from Chimaira dropped by too. We now
have three days off. We are staying in Cleveland for this first
one and then moving on tonight as we gradually head for Witchita
and the next show on the 11th. The tour is nearly over and it's
time to start preparing for the trip home and the summer. I am
going to once again try and take some time off before my fall
schedule kicks into full gear but I have some projects I'd really
like to do as well. I'm also getting some interesting offers. Today, I walked to Union Station and took a picture of a very large sculpture of a hare. |
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2006/06/11 15:00 It's nice to have a show to do. I don't want to any more days
off, lets do shows or go home. I get to go home in six days but
more immediately I will be celebrating Lizardman Day tomorrow. I am working, we have a show tonight in Des Moines. All in all though, it looks to be a good first first ever Lizardman Day. OF course, there is always something...things are rarely so fucked up as when they seem to be perfect. Haven't decided if I will drink, not really feeling motivated
to but I did just catch a headline about an ingredient in beer
possibly reducing the risk of prostate cancer. Given my family
history, maybe I should hit the keg hard. I, of course, spent my birthday performing a show in Des Moines to a wonderfully receptive and responsive crowd that, as far as I knew, had no idea it was my birthday / Lizardman Day. That is, until Mossy got a hold of the backup mic and came out onstage before I introduced Staind. He then proceeded to get the sold out corwd to sing Happy Birthday to me. It was an interesting and not unappreciated experience. Just as xmas has boxing day, Lizardman Day has TY day. This simply means that today I will spend a good protion of time send thank yous to people. How many? Acoording to my IM message indicator "LOTS". Thank you all and next year will be even better. Last night we were in Huntsville and Katie (the pa) gave me a birthday present from my amazon wishlist. That night we used a projector to play xbox on the side of the arena. The show went well too. The tour is having a crawfish boil party today and then tomorrow we play the last show of the run. Mossy actually left after the show in Des Moines and Three Days Grace has gone to LA for a CD USA appearance, so we are missing some players but it all goes on |
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2006/06/16 13:22 There was also a mass attmept to eat 6 saltines in under a minute without taking a drink - no successes. Go ahead, try it. |
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2006/06/17 17:54 Here's an idea, when it's almost noon and we haven't boarded yet stop referring to it as the 10:35am flight - you are simply irritating me further. I will be doing everything possible to avoid American Airlines in the future. Enough said. |
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